It is said that Prince Siddhartha Gautama was confined to a palace from his birth on his father's orders. Fearing that the prophecies about his heir's future were true (legend has it that there were numerous signs in Siddhartha’s birth that he would become either a great king or a great sage and ascetic), the king isolated him from religious teachings and from the world itself, so that he would not know suffering. It would appear that the king thought that if his son experienced pain, it would be easier for questions to be asked about the meaning of life – and this might incline his destiny toward sainthood rather than toward the government of his kingdom. Siddhartha lived like this, isolated, surrounded by wealth and the pleasures of life, until he was 29 years old. It was then that, according to legend and in spite of his father's obsession to keep him locked up in a bubble, one fine day Gautama went out beyond the walls of his palace. That is when the events known as “the four sights” took place. For the first time in his life, he saw someone who was very old and deteriorated, a sick person and a corpse. And, for the first time, he became aware that human beings get sick, grow old and die. He also came across an ascetic, who looked calm and at peace; following his example, shortly after he gave up palace life to dedicate himself to defeating disease, old age and death, or, at least, that was his first intention. After traversing extreme and unbalanced pathways, he came to the conviction that none of it was of any use. Then he gained the understanding that in his life he had experienced two opposite extremes, and that both were sterile. On the one hand, he had known health, wealth and carefreeness; symbol of what most human beings (to this day) aspire to achieve. All of this, in his case, it had simply been bestowed upon him as a given. On the other hand, he had known extreme sacrifice, physical and mental poverty, sickness and almost death. In a moment of clarity, he understood the concept of the middle way, of the avoidance of extremes as a way towards liberation, dedicating his life, henceforth, to practicing and teaching this path. He understood that it was not illness, old age or death that had to be defeated, but the ego and the ignorance and slavery generated by it in human beings. About 2500 years ago, that prince became the historical Buddha. I do not practice Buddhism, but I love this story; it is a map, a metaphor full of timeless archetypes that can be used by anyone who is interested in something more than what socialization offers us.
I also see my own story as a map full of interesting clues about what we can find in this life and what to do with it. Nonetheless, unlike Prince Siddhartha, in the beginning, my worldly extreme was full of hardship, poverty of means, illness and abuse. Today, I have the understanding that the diverse versions that we may have to live are nothing more than different sets of the same stage. The important thing is how you play the role that has been assigned to you, and how you use the mundane to transcend the cognitive prison in which we are born. Whether you realize it or not, your life is also a map.
As a child I was frequently ill. Different illnesses led me to experience periods of great discomfort, even ending up hospitalized in urgent care a few times. Furthermore, I lived in a family with toxic and limiting parents. In the run-up to adolescence and for a few subsequent years I finally found myself in a state of splendid health, it seemed as if my body had found its vitality and strength. However, one day, just before I turned 16, I began to feel an unpleasant and persistent pain in my hip. In the following months, the pain spread to one knee and to my feet. After six months and multiple visits to different specialists, I was diagnosed with a chronic degenerative pathology of the joints, one of the so-called "rare" conditions. The outlook was pessimistic: the disease would inevitably develop — over time, I would almost certainly become physically handicapped, to a greater or lesser extent. The doctors informed me that the disease was incurable: it appeared that my only hope was that, over the years, medicine would sufficiently advance in the knowledge and treatment of this pathology. I was prescribed symptomatic drugs, which were not without risks, since I could suffer from different side effects in the medium and long term. The regular tests that were carried out on me were more to control the effects of the medication, than the disease itself.
More than 30 years have passed, and this condition has still not been resolved by medicine. Something deeply strikes you when you get news like that. I was a teenager and the world fell on me; suddenly the rest of my life seemed like a dark blur... or a struggle with an uncertain outcome. From the very first moment, my choice was to fight.
These were very difficult times, since, apart from all the family problems I experienced, the disease continued to relentlessly advance through my body in the following years. To make matters worse, shortly after the first disease appeared, I developed a second pathology, which was also chronic and incurable. I could not die from the first condition, but I could die from the second. How could one have such a bad luck?
Alongside regular visits to the hospital, and together with pharmacological treatment, I gradually entered the world of energy healing. I had a few therapists and teachers, although, it seemed that anything I did fell short when compared to the enormity of my health problems. I had immediately experienced great difficulty in walking or standing, not to mention the intense pain and other symptoms of the second bowel disease that had arisen. I decided to persist in the idea that, no matter how sick I might be my entire life, I would try to do what I could, learning as much as I could along the way.
So, from the outset, along with the medical treatment, I started doing things on my own: meditation, laying on of hands, positive thinking, and so on. I didn't stop looking. I was lucky enough to find people who truly were able to accompany me in my process – with special mention of a brilliant physician who, in addition to traditional medicine, practised alternative techniques. Twelve years of illness went by, as well as a great deal of therapeutic and personal work. Then, one day, almost suddenly, the pains and other symptoms began to diminish, and, among other things, I was able to place my left heel on the floor (I had not been able to do so for about ten years). In the space of a few months, it became possible for me to stop all pharmacological treatment (under medical supervision) without any worsening of my condition. Nevertheless, I had more or less mild symptoms of the two pathologies for about three more years, until they finally disappeared altogether. Since then, I have had no symptoms of those diseases for more than eighteen years. However, I still have some after-effects, which are not serious, but bothersome: for now, I live with pain in my muscles on a daily basis and I still have to take care of myself much more than normal so that my body doesn't get sick; it has been difficult for me to exercise normally and I still become overtired. All this has never been a hindrance to my personal progress. Many will say that what I did on my own was of no benefit, that the pathologies I suffered simply healed spontaneously. Anyone is free to make their own assessments. All I can say is, this is my story.
In the course of those last two or three years, in which the process of degenerative disease was finally resolved, I also left my job as a programmer and software developer. I then began to dedicate myself professionally to what I had already begun to develop and which would become what today is Bioenergetic Resonance and Emoenergetica. In all, from what I have lived so far, I estimate that at least three quarters of my time has been spent either ill or in some kind of chronic pain. Although I am terribly bored of talking about myself, I tell this story in order to contextualize my particular perspective on illness, health, mind, and awareness.
In this intense process of living side by side with illness and with healing I have learned many things; I am not only referring to intellectual learning, but to learning about life itself. When illness arises along the way, it always comes with a travelling companion – the opportunity to grow and connect more strongly with the unique experience you are. In truth, you do not need to have a disease or misfortune to learn or to find the meaning or purpose of your life. At times, however, these extreme circumstances can be used as catalysts because of the intense loss to which they subject you. If you look at it only from the point of view of disease and its symptoms, sometimes you win and sometimes you lose; even if you try wholeheartedly, it might not turn out well. In my story, I was lucky enough to win. And yet I continue to fight, because I no longer need to be at my worst to move towards where I need to go. Even if I had not been cured, I would still have gained everything I have learned so far.
We frequently treat disease as an entity that is independent from the patient themselves, as something to be eradicated, something that simply has to be driven out. This behaviour, while having its practical side, can lead to strategies of denial which could limit the possibility of healing and which, above all, hinder the opportunity for the patient to develop a proper vital attitude and a correct acceptance of their process.
For the majority of people, the elimination of symptoms seems to be the most important factor. Because the individual and their parts are an interconnected whole, sometimes the attempt to suppress or conceal the disease or its symptoms can lead to losses in energy levels, alterations in other functions that were previously correct, decreases in structural symmetry, and a lack of learning. Surprisingly, this sometimes results in a comfortable, stable and seemingly "disease-free" situation for a period of time. But, each level of symmetry needs a certain level of energy in order to sustain itself. If there is a loss in the energy level, structures and functions are necessarily being sacrificed, regardless of whether one is more comfortable or not.
Contemporary times have brought a radicalization of positions related to health and illness. Medicine, on the one hand, prevails, advancing admirably every day, but is increasingly aggressive, rejecting any validity of the so-called alternative therapies. On the other hand, many of the latter insist on sustaining infantile and grotesque theories about health and disease, which can sometimes endanger patients. With a few exceptions, there is a worrying lack of rational thinking and of talent in natural health. An excess of beliefs tends to lead to ignorance. Alternative medicines are, to a large degree, responsible for the aggression that science and conventional medicine show towards them. Considering the disease and its symptoms as an exclusively physical phenomenon, science works much better than natural medicine in the vast majority of cases. The problem, for me, is that the physical-mechanical vision has a very high toll at many levels – physical, psycho-emotional and related to lifestyle and choices. In my opinion, the search for well-being through alternative means should be far more rational and official medicine should be opened up to become far more holistic. Through Bioenergetic Resonance, I am trying to lay the foundations of what could become the energy therapies of the 21st century. If this model had the appropriate investors support, it could revolutionize the field of alternative therapies, and specifically that of energy healing. Now I know that the phenomena that I have discovered in all these years could be subjected to systematic and scientific research. Protocols could also be designed for individuals to develop both the perceptual abilities needed for this work, as well as the indispensable skills in attention, awareness and handling of subtle energies aimed at healing processes. But, to do this in a meaningful way it would take anywhere from twenty to thirty years to begin with, having the necessary resources. Time will tell if we are at that moment when this world is able to make a bet like the one I would be able to hold.
Returning to the subject of illness, it always appears to the individual as a challenge. On the one hand it points to the fact that something valuable has already been lost along the way, and on the other, that the time has come when it could be of great help to the individual to incorporate new learning to offset the losses. Another effect of the disease is that it can make us more aware of our disconnection from ourselves. Depending on how we handle that sense of disconnectedness, things can get even worse, hence the importance of making new learnings.
In Bioenergetic Resonance, illness and disease are defined as the psycho-corporal and energetic state in which the limitations, alterations and distortions in the possibilities, functions, developments and structures of the individual are expressed in comparison to those that, as a species, have been gained in the course of evolution. Disease represents a deviation from the immanent potential symmetry that affects part of or the entire individual matrix.
Consequently, illness and disease are the effect of a loss or lack (of energy, symmetry, balance, structure, function) that ends up becoming visible through its symptoms. It generates needs that need to be compensated for (to compensate: to equalize in the opposite sense or neutralize the effect of one thing with that of another) and problems that need to be solved. It then becomes necessary to invest a certain quantity and quality of energy-work (work: energy needed to move or change from one state to another), in the right intensity, using the appropriate strategies, during the time and cycles that are necessary until health has been restored or until the imbalance has been sufficiently compensated. This investment of resources and effort must — logically — be proportional to the losses and deficiencies that underlie and feed the disease.
In our culture, we usually use the word cure to refer to the elimination of symptoms. On the other hand, Emoenergetica is interested in healing. The latter seeks to re-establish the dynamic balance of the individual with their circumstances and environment, thanks to the acceptance of oneself within the ongoing experience, whether painful or not. Acceptance is not the same as resignation, since the latter goes against healing, while the former favours the ability to move forward.
Healing, more than a goal, is a process in which interest in the possibility of improvement of body, mind and soul must be cultivated. This is why, those who have ever been broken and then have managed to rebuild themselves realize that they are much more whole than those who never broke.
It is also necessary to accept that sometimes what was lost is recovered but, at other times, at most a certain balance is restored. Although it will always be useful, regardless of the severity of the illness or disease, to make compensations by means of the learning that is best suited to connecting the sick individual with their experience of loss or lack, because not only the body is affected by physical illness, but the mind also needs to adapt. Healing, under these premises, must seek the recovery of the physical components involved (for example, through conventional medicine), but there should also be an improvement in the symmetry and functioning of the psycho-emotional side and the subtle body (as proposed by both Emoenergetica and Bioenergetic Resonance) with respect to those existing prior to the loss-illness. If the approach is truly holistic and integrative, the healing process results in the individual encountering more personal development and consciousness than was originally the case, regardless of whether or not a cure is brought about. Hence the idea that a state of illness can become a path of learning, development and evolution.
Illness along the Way by Chema Sanz is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.